Shannon's School "Survial" Guide

While cleaning out a closet, my family recently discovered a very interesting notebook from years ago. It was a plain spiral notebook that 11-year-old me had taken and filled with "tips" on how to survive school. It's pretty funny...so I've decided to post some of the best tips (most profound or hilarious) typed out exactly as they were....spelling errors in all! After all, it is the beginning of the school. To tell the difference, white regular font is 11-year-old me writing and the orange italic font is 18-year-old me commenting.

Shannon's School Survial Guide First spelling error!!

#2 Be nice to all your teachers. Even if you don't like your teacher, don't let her know it. You DON'T want to get on a teacher's bad side.

#3 The teacher rules all. I know, it stinks but it's true. When getting into mischief, make SURE they don't see you. How is that good advice?!? They have the power to punish and protect. Be warned. Wow...I make school sound like a war-zone...


#5 Teachers HATE complainers. No matter how bad it is, don't complain. If your teacher is beating you, don't complain. If your teacher is feeding you poison, don't complain. If your teacher burning kids at stake, DON'T COMPLAIN.

#8 If you dissagree with a teacher, stay cool. Just because you don't believe in evolution, doesn't mean you get excused from science homework. For example: If a question asks: How did the earth form? You can say "Charles Darwin believed that the earth exploded" That way you don't have to lie. Apparently, most science teachers accept "The Earth formed via explosion" as a correct answer. Also, did you notice my obsessive use of the colon? Someone needs a grammar lesson!

#9 There will ALWAYS be popular kids, try to live with it. Just leave them alone and you'll be fine. We must treat popular kids like venomous spiders...just leave them alone and you'll be fine...

#10 If you ever happen to spot a bully coming near you, run. You'll be judged by your friends. If you choose mean friends...people will think that you are mean. This applies to people of all ages, by the way.

#11 Don't judge people by their looks. People actually get sued for judging people by their gender, race, and looks. "That person called me ugly...SUE THEM!!!"

#13 A wise man can resist peer presure. Peer presure is all-around-yuck. Whenever someone's friends or peers talk them into doing something that is wrong or that they don't what to do...peer presure is taking place. I find that wording hilarious. If people try and convince you to do something wrong...be strong and say "NO." It's hard, but say it. If they're pressuring you to do something you don't want to do...say "No thank you." Never give into peer presure and NEVER presure your peers.

#17 If you have trouble with your HW (homework) ask mom or dad or your big sis. But certainly not your big brother...then all your answers will be wrong.

#22 Do your HW before TV or PS2. If you do TV or PS2 first, you won't want to stop. Next thing you know, Mom shouts "Bed time!" and you don't have your HW done. I used to play PlayStation2 from the time I got home until the time I went to bed?!? Dang, I must have been a fat kid before I joined karate...

#26 Share your feelings. If a recess game gets boring, let the group know. We don't want you to have a boring time. "Share your feelings" is just a good tip for life. :)

#35 Tell your folks if you DON'T want to on a FT (field trip) or else you'll end up going to Farmer Bob's Worm Circus. Farmer Bob's Worm Circus?!?! Seriously?

#36 Don't whine if your folks say you can't go on a field trip. That'll just make them say NO even more. Kid:"Can I go?"  Parent:"No."  Kid:"Awwww..."  Parent:"MEGA NO!!"

#38 Never go "EWWW!" if a kid pukes from car sickness. It makes 'em feel bad. This one's my favorite.

#44 Don't brag.  If you are suprised in a good way at your your grades...hold it in. Don't go: "Yippie! Straight A's!" That'll hurt people's feelings. Try not to ask people what their grades are and only tell people if they ask. Okay? Okay. Got it.

#46 Be an example. Who are what are you representing? If you are a Christian, than you are an example of Christianity. When people see a Christian, they are judged as such. If you are mean and a bully, yet say you are a Christian, you are representing Christ in a poor manner. The non-Christians will look at you and say "She's a Christian? Boy, she's mean. I don't want to be like HER so I won't EVER be a Christian" Be a good example: of your God, of your family, and of an American. Represent what you stand for as a good example. This one is interesting because it was jerk-Christians that made me have doubts about Christianity as a young teenager.

#47 Let your true colors shine through. Great, now I have that song stuck in my head. There should never be a line between the "Home-You", the "School-You", the "Church-You", etc. What I mean is" don't act a certain way around some people, and act differently around others. Be the true, real you ALL the time. Don't act all "Praise the Lord!" at church and no where else. If you are a "Praise the Lord!" type person, act that way every where. If you are nerdy, don't hide it! Be the true you ALL the time, EVERYwhere, with EVERYbody. Show your true colors and NEVER be someone you're not.

Have a great new school year, everyone!!