Over the course of my young life, I've learned a good deal about enemies. As a Christian, I'm supposed to love my enemies. As a martial artist, I've been taught to bow to my opponents and show them respect. As a social nobody in high-school, however, I've learned that enemies are very very very easy to loathe.
Let's face some facts. People can be mean. Enemies can be as mild as a snooty rich snob in the 5th grade telling a fellow classmate that she dresses like a baby or as brutally mean as a martial arts "partner" who purposely throws punches out of anger. Of course, there are enemies out there who are far less easy to love. If you've been watching the news in the last couple years, you may have heard of a man named Phillip Garrido. If not, allow me to tell the story of one of my heroes, Jaycee Lee Dugard.
When Jaycee was 11 years old walking to school one day, a stranger drove up beside her, stun-gunned her, bound her, and shoved her into the trunk of his car. After driving her two hours away from her hometown, it soon became known that this man wasn't looking for ransom.
Phillip Garrido was a pedophile. He locked her up in a shed in his backyard where he physically, verbally, sexually and mentally abused her for 18 years. She gave birth to two of his children without any medical attention while still in her early teens. He even forbade her from speaking her own name. If that's not an enemy, I don't what is.
A little while ago, Jaycee gave her first interview on ABC. When asked about her feelings toward Garrido, she gave an answer that absolutely baffled me. She wasn't filled with angry hatred towards the man who stole her childhood and adolescence, nor did she defend him like someone with Stockholm Syndrome. She very plainly stated that he was an evil man, but she felt no anger towards him because that would be "letting him win." Her viewpoint was that she was the victor, having survived and that holding onto anger towards him would only be letting him continue to have a grip on her life. Wow. Now that's a strong woman.
As sinful humans, we get some kind of sick pleasure out of being mad at someone. To let go of a grudge requires rebellion against one's own nature, strength of heart, and self-discipline. It's the most unnatural thing a person can do, because it's the sort of thing God does all the time. We have all slandered his name, rejected His love and done things He considers perverse. He still is willing to forgive us. He won't let sin win.
Having said that, forgiveness isn't always a "Get Out of Jail Free" card. Just because Jaycee isn't angry at Garrido anymore, doesn't mean she's game to invite him over to play with her kids. Jesus forgave the Pharisees (his hatuh's,) but He didn't make them his BFF's. God loves the world, but not everyone's going to Heaven. Why? Forgiveness can be one-sided. Reconciliation has to be mutual.
I'm writing about this because out of all the fruits of the Spirit, forgiveness is the hardest for me. I've had rumors spread about me and had some friends stolen. I've been teased and made fun of and left out and ditched. I've been verbally attacked and even physically attacked a couple times. I've gone through some not-so-great times and made my share of enemies. I used to think the entire world was against me...but it turns out that everyone else's lives suck too and I actually have it pretty good. Jaycee's story helped me gain a little perspective. All the crud I've put up with barely amounts to one moment of her agony. Beyond that, all of the abuse dealt by Phillip Garrido is nothing compared to the cruelty that humanity has shown to God. All things considered, who am I to hold a grudge...who am I to even complain.
"Loving your enemies" is one of those very unnatural quirks unique to Christianity. What sort of madness would cause a person to want to love the most hateable people in their life? Yet, that is why it is so important. Loving your enemies isn't natural for sinful people like us because it's a God-thing, not a human-thing. It's such a hard thing for us to do...but that just makes it all the more neccessary. Sometimes we have to do hard things, unnatural things, things we don't want to do, because doing those things make us strong, courageous, Christ-like Christians.
Matthew 5:44
But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you.
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