Ed (Jesus and T.V. - Part 3

"But outside the door to our Spanish class, leaning against the wall — looking more like a Greek god than anyone had a right to — Edward was waiting for me." --Bella Swan, Twilight

 If you think you might need a barf-bucket while reading this post, I suggest you go grab one...just in case. I'll also warn you younger folks that there is a tad bit of mature content in this one.

Twilight: You love it, you hate it, you fell asleep during the first two minutes of the movie. Whatever your feelings, you have to admit that Stephanie Meyer's "Twilight Saga" has become a massive phenomena. Of course, whenever a story reaches the mass popularity of "Twilight," people start to wonder about what kind of effect it is having on its fans. People don't just obsess over a book or movie franchise without it somehow shaping their self-image, worldview, expectations, or beliefs. One can only pray that "Twilight" is good for the minds of millions of teen fangirls...and mom fangirls...and the occasion weird fanguy...

I've only read the first book and movie. The rest of my sources have been from online reviews and girls at school telling me "Oh mai gawsh! You haven't read New Moon? Are you crazy?! It's all about how when Bella and Edward blah blah blah..." However, I've read enough to know this: Twilight is not about vampires. It's about the ultimate female fantasy.

The entire story is told in first-person narrative by the main character, Bella. Bella is an awkward, clumsy, high-school girl...that's it. Her personality is completely neutral, her appearance isn't described other than mention of her "pale skin" and brownish-reddish hair (which could fit almost any Caucasian or Asian girl) and there is very little about her life that makes her unique at all. This is one of the reason's Meyer was so successful. Bella wasn't supposed to be a character, she's supposed to be you. Every female has felt awkward, clumsy and self-conscious at some point in her life. When a girl reads Twilight, she automatically finds her self relating to Bella..to the point where the reader finds herself taking Bella's place.

Soon enough, foxy-pale-dude enters the picture (grab that bucket I mentioned) and confesses that he is completely obsessed with her because she is the one human whose mind he can't read (Hey! I didn't know vampires had that power!) and her blood is the most ferociously sweet-smelling thing he had ever come across in his hundred-year-old existence. My guess is that Meyer had to include this creep-factor to explain why a seemingly perfect man would be attracted to some stupid high school chick...and by perfect, I mean disgustingly perfect. Here are some of Eddie's magical traits:

• Aww...he's a nice vampire.  Cannibalism is generally considered unattractive in most cultures. So, to appeal to more readers, Edward is a "vegetarian" vampire, meaning he and his family only drink animal blood. They also have vowed not to kill humans, despite their natural urges to do so. Not only does this paint Eddie as a kindly monster, but it also gives him inner-struggles...which some women find mysterious and attractive somehow...
• He's disgustingly romantic. Edward has no problem sharing his feelings and expressing his "love" for Bella. While some of the things Edward says are just cheesy, like "I’ll be back so soon you won’t have time to miss me. Look after my heart — I’ve left it with you." most of the time he says things that simply would never pass from a normal man's lips, like "I was distracted all weekend, worrying about you."
• He has Elijah Wood's face, Sylvester Stallone's body, and the breath of a Mint Fairy. Outrageous descriptions of Edward's physical appearance make up most of book. The only way to comprehend this properly is to read some yourself:

"It was hard to believe that someone so beautiful could be real. I was afraid that he might disappear in a sudden puff of smoke, and I would wake up."

"His voice was like melting honey. I could imagine how much more overwhelming his eyes would be." "He stared into my eyes, and I saw how light his eyes were, lighter than I’d ever seen them, golden butterscotch."

[Warning: this next quotation may cause acid-reflex] "His face startled me — his expression was torn, almost pained, and so fiercely beautiful that the ache to touch him flared as strong as before. My goodbye stuck in my throat. He raised his hand, hesitant, conflict raging in his eyes, and then swiftly brushed the length of my cheekbone with his fingertips. His skin was as icy as ever, but the trail his fingers left on my skin was alarmingly warm — like I’d been burned, but didn’t feel the pain of it yet."

After reading the novel, I surfed the web for Christian reviews of the book and movie to see if others wanted to barf at what so many teenage girls were going stark-raving-mad about. In the non-Christian community, I found plenty that agreed with me when it came to the book's actual quality (lots of people are gagged-out by Edward, too!) Surprisingly, what I found written by Christians was mostly positive. They liked the fact that the Cullens didn't eat people, and commended Edward for (this is the adult content part, you guys) demanding abstinence in Bella's and his relationship, even though his reason for doing so is because Edward believes he would be unable to control the urge to kill and eat Bella if they were to have...ya know. And even though they never go "all the way" until marriage in the last book, Bella and Edward push some limits. Before Edward confesses to even liking Bella, he sneaks around her house at night and sits outside her window to watch her sleep, using his super-speed to slip away whenever she would start to wake up. Bella discovers this habit of his once they start dating, and rather then getting freaked out, she allows him to come into her bed and hold her while she sleeps. Then, of course, there's the painfully detailed descriptions of their kisses and touches that fill the pages not consumed by descriptions of Edward's beauty (Barf-bucket, NOW!!)

To me, what matters more in a fiction novel isn't the fantasy elements themselves (magic, wizards, fairies, vampires, elves, whatever) but rather the message the author is trying to convey with them. Lord of the Rings is more about friendship and courage than it is about hobbits and orcs. The Chronicles of Narnia isn't a story about some kids and a magical lion, it was written so that readers would think of Jesus as a loving savior that they could have a relationship with. So if it's not about vampires, what is Twilight about? Well, when we strip away all the magical elements, we're left with a high school couple who obsess over each other, defy what they believe to be right in order to be together, lie to parents, and go mad when separated.

Proverbs 4:23 tells us "Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it." Entertainment is an easy way to be pulled away from staying focused on what is right and true. While I firmly believe that Christians need to decide for themselves what is and isn't appropriate when it comes to books and television (God didn't give us a list of "bad books," but rather gave us the Holy Spirit to guide us in our decisions,) the "Twilight Saga" is one that needs to be handled with a little extra discernment.