Shannon's School "Survial" Guide

While cleaning out a closet, my family recently discovered a very interesting notebook from years ago. It was a plain spiral notebook that 11-year-old me had taken and filled with "tips" on how to survive school. It's pretty funny...so I've decided to post some of the best tips (most profound or hilarious) typed out exactly as they were....spelling errors in all! After all, it is the beginning of the school. To tell the difference, white regular font is 11-year-old me writing and the orange italic font is 18-year-old me commenting.

Shannon's School Survial Guide First spelling error!!

#2 Be nice to all your teachers. Even if you don't like your teacher, don't let her know it. You DON'T want to get on a teacher's bad side.

#3 The teacher rules all. I know, it stinks but it's true. When getting into mischief, make SURE they don't see you. How is that good advice?!? They have the power to punish and protect. Be warned. Wow...I make school sound like a war-zone...


#5 Teachers HATE complainers. No matter how bad it is, don't complain. If your teacher is beating you, don't complain. If your teacher is feeding you poison, don't complain. If your teacher burning kids at stake, DON'T COMPLAIN.

#8 If you dissagree with a teacher, stay cool. Just because you don't believe in evolution, doesn't mean you get excused from science homework. For example: If a question asks: How did the earth form? You can say "Charles Darwin believed that the earth exploded" That way you don't have to lie. Apparently, most science teachers accept "The Earth formed via explosion" as a correct answer. Also, did you notice my obsessive use of the colon? Someone needs a grammar lesson!

#9 There will ALWAYS be popular kids, try to live with it. Just leave them alone and you'll be fine. We must treat popular kids like venomous spiders...just leave them alone and you'll be fine...

#10 If you ever happen to spot a bully coming near you, run. You'll be judged by your friends. If you choose mean friends...people will think that you are mean. This applies to people of all ages, by the way.

#11 Don't judge people by their looks. People actually get sued for judging people by their gender, race, and looks. "That person called me ugly...SUE THEM!!!"

#13 A wise man can resist peer presure. Peer presure is all-around-yuck. Whenever someone's friends or peers talk them into doing something that is wrong or that they don't what to do...peer presure is taking place. I find that wording hilarious. If people try and convince you to do something wrong...be strong and say "NO." It's hard, but say it. If they're pressuring you to do something you don't want to do...say "No thank you." Never give into peer presure and NEVER presure your peers.

#17 If you have trouble with your HW (homework) ask mom or dad or your big sis. But certainly not your big brother...then all your answers will be wrong.

#22 Do your HW before TV or PS2. If you do TV or PS2 first, you won't want to stop. Next thing you know, Mom shouts "Bed time!" and you don't have your HW done. I used to play PlayStation2 from the time I got home until the time I went to bed?!? Dang, I must have been a fat kid before I joined karate...

#26 Share your feelings. If a recess game gets boring, let the group know. We don't want you to have a boring time. "Share your feelings" is just a good tip for life. :)

#35 Tell your folks if you DON'T want to on a FT (field trip) or else you'll end up going to Farmer Bob's Worm Circus. Farmer Bob's Worm Circus?!?! Seriously?

#36 Don't whine if your folks say you can't go on a field trip. That'll just make them say NO even more. Kid:"Can I go?"  Parent:"No."  Kid:"Awwww..."  Parent:"MEGA NO!!"

#38 Never go "EWWW!" if a kid pukes from car sickness. It makes 'em feel bad. This one's my favorite.

#44 Don't brag.  If you are suprised in a good way at your your grades...hold it in. Don't go: "Yippie! Straight A's!" That'll hurt people's feelings. Try not to ask people what their grades are and only tell people if they ask. Okay? Okay. Got it.

#46 Be an example. Who are what are you representing? If you are a Christian, than you are an example of Christianity. When people see a Christian, they are judged as such. If you are mean and a bully, yet say you are a Christian, you are representing Christ in a poor manner. The non-Christians will look at you and say "She's a Christian? Boy, she's mean. I don't want to be like HER so I won't EVER be a Christian" Be a good example: of your God, of your family, and of an American. Represent what you stand for as a good example. This one is interesting because it was jerk-Christians that made me have doubts about Christianity as a young teenager.

#47 Let your true colors shine through. Great, now I have that song stuck in my head. There should never be a line between the "Home-You", the "School-You", the "Church-You", etc. What I mean is" don't act a certain way around some people, and act differently around others. Be the true, real you ALL the time. Don't act all "Praise the Lord!" at church and no where else. If you are a "Praise the Lord!" type person, act that way every where. If you are nerdy, don't hide it! Be the true you ALL the time, EVERYwhere, with EVERYbody. Show your true colors and NEVER be someone you're not.

Have a great new school year, everyone!!

How Not To Let Your Enemy Win

Over the course of my young life, I've learned a good deal about enemies. As a Christian, I'm supposed to love my enemies. As a martial artist, I've been taught to bow to my opponents and show them respect. As a social nobody in high-school, however, I've learned that enemies are very very very easy to loathe.

Let's face some facts. People can be mean. Enemies can be as mild as a snooty rich snob in the 5th grade telling a fellow classmate that she dresses like a baby or as brutally mean as a martial arts "partner" who purposely throws punches out of anger. Of course, there are enemies out there who are far less easy to love. If you've been watching the news in the last couple years, you may have heard of a man named Phillip Garrido. If not, allow me to tell the story of one of my heroes, Jaycee Lee Dugard.

When Jaycee was 11 years old walking to school one day, a stranger drove up beside her, stun-gunned her, bound her, and shoved her into the trunk of his car. After driving her two hours away from her hometown, it soon became known that this man wasn't looking for ransom.

Phillip Garrido was a pedophile. He locked her up in a shed in his backyard where he physically, verbally, sexually and mentally abused her for 18 years. She gave birth to two of his children without any medical attention while still in her early teens. He even forbade her from speaking her own name. If that's not an enemy, I don't what is.

A little while ago, Jaycee gave her first interview on ABC. When asked about her feelings toward Garrido, she gave an answer that absolutely baffled me. She wasn't filled with angry hatred towards the man who stole her childhood and adolescence, nor did she defend him like someone with Stockholm Syndrome. She very plainly stated that he was an evil man, but she felt no anger towards him because that would be "letting him win." Her viewpoint was that she was the victor, having survived and that holding onto anger towards him would only be letting him continue to have a grip on her life. Wow. Now that's a strong woman.

As sinful humans, we get some kind of sick pleasure out of being mad at someone. To let go of a grudge requires rebellion against one's own nature, strength of heart, and self-discipline. It's the most unnatural thing a person can do, because it's the sort of thing God does all the time. We have all slandered his name, rejected His love and done things He considers perverse. He still is willing to forgive us. He won't let sin win.

Having said that, forgiveness isn't always a "Get Out of Jail Free" card. Just because Jaycee isn't angry at Garrido anymore, doesn't mean she's game to invite him over to play with her kids. Jesus forgave the Pharisees (his hatuh's,) but He didn't make them his BFF's. God loves the world, but not everyone's going to Heaven. Why? Forgiveness can be one-sided. Reconciliation has to be mutual.

I'm writing about this because out of all the fruits of the Spirit, forgiveness is the hardest for me. I've had rumors spread about me and had some friends stolen. I've been teased and made fun of and left out and ditched. I've been verbally attacked and even physically attacked a couple times. I've gone through some not-so-great times and made my share of enemies. I used to think the entire world was against me...but it turns out that everyone else's lives suck too and I actually have it pretty good. Jaycee's story helped me gain a little perspective. All the crud I've put up with barely amounts to one moment of her agony. Beyond that, all of the abuse dealt by Phillip Garrido is nothing compared to the cruelty that humanity has shown to God. All things considered, who am I to hold a grudge...who am I to even complain.

"Loving your enemies" is one of those very unnatural quirks unique to Christianity. What sort of madness would cause a person to want to love the most hateable people in their life? Yet, that is why it is so important. Loving your enemies isn't natural for sinful people like us because it's a God-thing, not a human-thing. It's such a hard thing for us to do...but that just makes it all the more neccessary. Sometimes we have to do hard things, unnatural things, things we don't want to do, because doing those things make us strong, courageous, Christ-like Christians.

Matthew 5:44
But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you.

Ed (Jesus and T.V. - Part 3

"But outside the door to our Spanish class, leaning against the wall — looking more like a Greek god than anyone had a right to — Edward was waiting for me." --Bella Swan, Twilight

 If you think you might need a barf-bucket while reading this post, I suggest you go grab one...just in case. I'll also warn you younger folks that there is a tad bit of mature content in this one.

Twilight: You love it, you hate it, you fell asleep during the first two minutes of the movie. Whatever your feelings, you have to admit that Stephanie Meyer's "Twilight Saga" has become a massive phenomena. Of course, whenever a story reaches the mass popularity of "Twilight," people start to wonder about what kind of effect it is having on its fans. People don't just obsess over a book or movie franchise without it somehow shaping their self-image, worldview, expectations, or beliefs. One can only pray that "Twilight" is good for the minds of millions of teen fangirls...and mom fangirls...and the occasion weird fanguy...

I've only read the first book and movie. The rest of my sources have been from online reviews and girls at school telling me "Oh mai gawsh! You haven't read New Moon? Are you crazy?! It's all about how when Bella and Edward blah blah blah..." However, I've read enough to know this: Twilight is not about vampires. It's about the ultimate female fantasy.

The entire story is told in first-person narrative by the main character, Bella. Bella is an awkward, clumsy, high-school girl...that's it. Her personality is completely neutral, her appearance isn't described other than mention of her "pale skin" and brownish-reddish hair (which could fit almost any Caucasian or Asian girl) and there is very little about her life that makes her unique at all. This is one of the reason's Meyer was so successful. Bella wasn't supposed to be a character, she's supposed to be you. Every female has felt awkward, clumsy and self-conscious at some point in her life. When a girl reads Twilight, she automatically finds her self relating to Bella..to the point where the reader finds herself taking Bella's place.

Soon enough, foxy-pale-dude enters the picture (grab that bucket I mentioned) and confesses that he is completely obsessed with her because she is the one human whose mind he can't read (Hey! I didn't know vampires had that power!) and her blood is the most ferociously sweet-smelling thing he had ever come across in his hundred-year-old existence. My guess is that Meyer had to include this creep-factor to explain why a seemingly perfect man would be attracted to some stupid high school chick...and by perfect, I mean disgustingly perfect. Here are some of Eddie's magical traits:

• Aww...he's a nice vampire.  Cannibalism is generally considered unattractive in most cultures. So, to appeal to more readers, Edward is a "vegetarian" vampire, meaning he and his family only drink animal blood. They also have vowed not to kill humans, despite their natural urges to do so. Not only does this paint Eddie as a kindly monster, but it also gives him inner-struggles...which some women find mysterious and attractive somehow...
• He's disgustingly romantic. Edward has no problem sharing his feelings and expressing his "love" for Bella. While some of the things Edward says are just cheesy, like "I’ll be back so soon you won’t have time to miss me. Look after my heart — I’ve left it with you." most of the time he says things that simply would never pass from a normal man's lips, like "I was distracted all weekend, worrying about you."
• He has Elijah Wood's face, Sylvester Stallone's body, and the breath of a Mint Fairy. Outrageous descriptions of Edward's physical appearance make up most of book. The only way to comprehend this properly is to read some yourself:

"It was hard to believe that someone so beautiful could be real. I was afraid that he might disappear in a sudden puff of smoke, and I would wake up."

"His voice was like melting honey. I could imagine how much more overwhelming his eyes would be." "He stared into my eyes, and I saw how light his eyes were, lighter than I’d ever seen them, golden butterscotch."

[Warning: this next quotation may cause acid-reflex] "His face startled me — his expression was torn, almost pained, and so fiercely beautiful that the ache to touch him flared as strong as before. My goodbye stuck in my throat. He raised his hand, hesitant, conflict raging in his eyes, and then swiftly brushed the length of my cheekbone with his fingertips. His skin was as icy as ever, but the trail his fingers left on my skin was alarmingly warm — like I’d been burned, but didn’t feel the pain of it yet."

After reading the novel, I surfed the web for Christian reviews of the book and movie to see if others wanted to barf at what so many teenage girls were going stark-raving-mad about. In the non-Christian community, I found plenty that agreed with me when it came to the book's actual quality (lots of people are gagged-out by Edward, too!) Surprisingly, what I found written by Christians was mostly positive. They liked the fact that the Cullens didn't eat people, and commended Edward for (this is the adult content part, you guys) demanding abstinence in Bella's and his relationship, even though his reason for doing so is because Edward believes he would be unable to control the urge to kill and eat Bella if they were to have...ya know. And even though they never go "all the way" until marriage in the last book, Bella and Edward push some limits. Before Edward confesses to even liking Bella, he sneaks around her house at night and sits outside her window to watch her sleep, using his super-speed to slip away whenever she would start to wake up. Bella discovers this habit of his once they start dating, and rather then getting freaked out, she allows him to come into her bed and hold her while she sleeps. Then, of course, there's the painfully detailed descriptions of their kisses and touches that fill the pages not consumed by descriptions of Edward's beauty (Barf-bucket, NOW!!)

To me, what matters more in a fiction novel isn't the fantasy elements themselves (magic, wizards, fairies, vampires, elves, whatever) but rather the message the author is trying to convey with them. Lord of the Rings is more about friendship and courage than it is about hobbits and orcs. The Chronicles of Narnia isn't a story about some kids and a magical lion, it was written so that readers would think of Jesus as a loving savior that they could have a relationship with. So if it's not about vampires, what is Twilight about? Well, when we strip away all the magical elements, we're left with a high school couple who obsess over each other, defy what they believe to be right in order to be together, lie to parents, and go mad when separated.

Proverbs 4:23 tells us "Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it." Entertainment is an easy way to be pulled away from staying focused on what is right and true. While I firmly believe that Christians need to decide for themselves what is and isn't appropriate when it comes to books and television (God didn't give us a list of "bad books," but rather gave us the Holy Spirit to guide us in our decisions,) the "Twilight Saga" is one that needs to be handled with a little extra discernment.